Light and Darkness

I’ve looked up to them for years and the more I think I can’t resonate with their artistry and story more and more, I find myself surprised again and fall deeper in respect and connection than before. This video and entry means the world to me and in many ways encapsulates similar events I was dealing with the past few years with love and in this last year with depression. It takes courage to share the deepest parts of you with others, especially in the areas that are the ugliest and most frightening to confront. But with deep breaths, determination for yourself, and love from others, confronting those worst parts of you and your life can lead to a path of healing and self-discovery of courage and love. Keep going. You are worth it. 

Here’s a snippet of their story: link below

Light & Darkness – Keone & Mari 💕

“To me, that’s how God works. You break, and it creates this accessibility that allows God to mend you, heal you. You get stronger, and then get broken again in a different way… And no, we don’t have it all figured out, and we have to brace for whatever is next, but there is a new understanding and ability to communicate. Not only with each other, but for me with myself. A kinder way of speaking to me….To anyone who is in a rough part of their relationship, who is struggling in their marriage and trying to keep a happy face to the outside world. To anyone dealing with depression and not thinking that it’s worth it to keep going, to deal with the burden of living. Don’t. Give. Up. Don’t be opposed to reaching outside to get help and to keep searching for the right help. For what is going to be effective for you. And if you love someone who struggles with mental health, don’t give up. Continue to love them, to search for how to support them through these waters…. It took me a long long time to get that. Even though it can be tough, I wouldn’t change it. It’s part of me and has taught me so much about who I am and has challenged me in all aspects of love. So keep fighting everyone, there is still so much love that is needing to exist.”

The little things

It’s the small moments…it’s the everyday little joys, like the sun shining through a cloudy day, or a home-cooked meal after a long day of work that makes life a little bit brighter. It’s the rare 15 min commute to work or the wagging of your dog’s tail. It’s the times when you feel like crying and are surprised when someone’s hug seems to make the sadness go away. It’s the iced mocha from Starbucks to jumpstart your morning or the collapsing onto your bed after a 10 hour day at work. It’s the times you tell yourself you can when your mind convinces you otherwise. It’s the believing in yourself and in others when all seems lost. It’s the courage to stand up for yourself and walk away from something or someone you love that is destroying your inner being. It’s the love and grace to forgive those that have hurt you and strength to see those people as people apart from that hurt. It’s the everyday fearlessness and grit to keep moving, dreaming, fighting for what is important to you even when life takes all your hope away. It’s the small moments that make the big moments worth so much more. It is you being unapologetically you because you are worth more than even you can know. It’s the small moments that I love and will cherish. Always. 

Strength in Brokenness

Years later after starting this blog, I return humbled and amazed at the journey of self-discovery I was forced to embark on after having my heart and voice stripped from me. It is surreal to understand the depth of hurt I was once in and the many instances of sorrow I faced in the years to come and still believe that each moment of hardship was one that I had to endure to grow stronger and wiser in knowing what it means to love hard, unconditionally, and with everything I have with no regret. I am proud of the choices I have made even if there were hesitancies or mistakes in the process. The intent behind every action and thought were attempts at discovering my own heart and learning what it meant to love myself for me, without anyone else’s opinion or approval of worth, and hold that same love with or without a man telling me I was worth keeping. As I look back on even the last few days, I have realized that I have allowed myself to open up to love in ways I thought would be closed forever, at the risk of getting hurt again. Though the result of risking love this weekend still ended with a broken heart, I still firmly believe in love and the power and depth of love, and I have hope that as long as I remain true to myself and my heart, someone will understand that love and find me when both our time and hearts meet in the middle.
So with my heart on my sleeve and my head in the clouds, I leave behind love, with no regrets. | always • yours truly

We are not fund…

We are not fundamentally free; external circumstances are not in our hands, they are in God’s hands, the one thing in which we are free is in our personal relationship to God. We are not responsible for the circumstances we are in, but we are responsible for the way we allow those circumstances to affect us; we can either allow them to get on top of us, or we can allow them to transform us into what God wants us to be.

My Utmost for His Highest-Conformed to His Image, 354 L